Every Body

It begins when I think I can do an end run around my body.

I know, right? But I try, don’t I, all the same.

Most of the time, I act as though this bag of blood and bones and organs will pulse along no matter what I do to it, no matter how I fuel it or drive it or ignore it, no matter how minimally I maintain it. All the things I do while I subconsciously tell myself, “The body won’t mind. We’re friends; we’ve been together forever. We’ve always gotten along. No problem.”

Most days I go through life this way. Sleepwalking.

Pretty bad, yes? But then the waking is worse.

This morning I rolled out of bed, slipped out of my sleeping clothes (let’s not pretend and call them “pajamas” or anything that fancy; they’re mostly looser, more comfortable day clothes like sweat pants and t-shirts…